Broken Butterfly, I LOVE YOU!: December 2012

Monday

"One Beautiful Butterfly" by Shay-Renee

"One Beautiful Butterfly"

She goes to school everyday,

The children pick on her in every way--

And at lunch she sits alone,

She watches the clock on her cell phone.

Everyday, they make her cry.

They broke her wings so she can't fly.

She's now a broken butterfly--

And no one cares enough to know why.

One day she gets down on her knees--

And she begs God to hear her pleas.

He lifts her up and spreads her wings.

He lets her know that she can do anything.

He transforms her wings to be stronger than ever--

And now she's doing so much better--

As she no longer tries to blend.

She's stepping out, not fitting in!

No longer broken, she can fly!

She's a beautiful butterfly! :)

Shay-Renee
©2012

My Original Song Lyrics:

"Dream Aloud"

Verse 1:

Have you dreamed of a life, in the spotlight?

Have you wished on a star, on a dark night?

Have you dreamed of a life, where you are the star?

Have you wondered one day, if you will go far?

Chorus:

Go ahead, and dream aloud

Scream it out, and say it proud

You are the star, you will go far!

Be everything, you said you are!

Verse 2:

The whole world is yours, it's there to take

Live your life, and make mistakes

Everything is within your reach

Just remember the words to your acceptance speech

Chorus:

Go ahead, and dream aloud

Scream it out, and say it proud

You are the star, you will go far!

Be everything, you said you are!

Verse 3:

Can you see your face, on the big screen?

Can you see yourself as king or queen?

Just believe in yourself, and chase your dream

And surely one day, you'll reign supreme

So,

Chorus:

Go ahead, and dream aloud

Scream it out, and say it proud

You are the star, you will go far!

Be everything, you said you are!

Chorus: (vamp)

Go ahead, and dream aloud

Scream it out, and say it proud

You are the star, you will go far!

Be everything, you said you are!

Shay-Renee
©2012

My Original Song Lyrics:

"Help Me Up"

Verse 1:

Pick me up, I've fallen down

My face has start, to hit the ground

I'm in a place, I hear no sound

The waves are crashing all around

Chorus:

Please help me up

Up off the ground

Please help me up

Verse 2:

The walls are tight, they're crashing in

I don't know where, to even begin

I see the time, it passes by

I go nowhere, and start to cry

Chorus:

Please help me up

Up off the ground

Please help me up

Verse 3:

Thunder roars, upon the shore

I'm in a place, I've been before

Lightning strikes, the clouds are gray

And all my hope, fades away

Chorus:

Please help me up

Up off the ground

Please help me up

Verse 4: (same as Verse 1, just slower and vamps)

Pick me up, I've fallen down

My face has start, to hit the ground

I'm in a place, I hear no sound

The waves are crashing all around

Shay-Renee
©2012

"She Paint a Picture" by Shay-Renee

My Original Song Lyrics:

"She Paint a Picture"

1 Chorus:

She paint a picture on her wall

To see when she was gonna fall

So many times, in her past

She wondered if this will always last

She paint a picture on her wall

To see when she was gonna fall

So many times, in her past

She wondered if this will always last

Verse 1:
She has a spot on the ground
To settle on when pain comes around
She's sat there on the ground for so long
That she decided to write a song

2 Chorus:
I paint a picture on my wall
To see when I was gonna fall
So many times, in my past
I wonder if this will always last
I paint a picture on my wall
To see when I was gonna fall
So many times, in my past
I wonder if this will always last

Verse 2:

So many tears, so many cries

That the tears are glued to her eyes

She hardly smiles, she wears a frown

She gets back up, to fall back down

It hurts to laugh, it hurts to cry

At times, she starts to wonder why

1 Chorus:

She paint a picture on her wall

To see when she was gonna fall

So many times, in her past

She wondered if this will always last

She paint a picture on her wall

To see when she was gonna fall

So many times, in her past

She wondered if this will always last

Verse 3:
That pictures sits by her bed
She'll keep that picture until she's dead
It's her strength, it is her light
It helps her sleep throughout the night
And that song, she sings everyday
She lifts her head up and she says:

2 Chorus:
I paint a picture on my wall
To see when I was gonna fall
So many times, in my past
I wonder if this will always last
I paint a picture on my wall
To see when I was gonna fall
So many times, in my past
I wonder if this will always last

Softly Spoken:
It's my picture and I love it so
Just like my song, I won't let it go.

1 Chorus: (vamp)

She paint a picture on her wall

To see when she was gonna fall

So many times, in her past

She wondered if this will always last

She paint a picture on her wall

To see when she was gonna fall

So many times, in her past

She wondered if this will always last

Shay-Renee
©2008

"It's Never Too Late" by Shay-Renee

My Original Song Lyrics:

"It's Never Too Late"

Chorus:

It's never too late,

To turn your life around.

It's never too late,

To lift yourself off the ground.

It's never too late,

To take another chance.

It's never too late,

To make your own stance.

It's never to late,

To do what you want to.

It's never too late,

But the choice is up to you.

Verse 1:

When you find that all hope is gone

You rise up and be strong

Remember that you're not alone

Something will happen before too long

Wait for it, and you will receive

Whatever you want or whatever you need

All I'm asking for you is to believe

And it will come, and yes indeed

It's not up to me, it's up to you

Just be patient and continue to wait

Do whatever you need to do

During the time it takes to get to that date

Chorus:

It's never too late,

To turn your life around.

It's never too late,

To lift yourself off the ground.

It's never too late,

To take another chance.

It's never too late,

To make your own stance.

It's never to late,

To do what you want to.

It's never too late,

But the choice is up to you.

Verse 2:

When you find your patience has come to an end

Just do something to help you prolong/stay strong

To add to this a message I send

Find someone to help you along

God will help you path the way

Give you courage and give you the strength

Until you see, that precious day

It will take time and great length

For however long this will take

I don't know but soon you will see

Don't quit and make a mistake

The choice is yours, it's not up to me

Chorus:

It's never too late,

To turn your life around.

It's never too late,

To lift yourself off the ground.

It's never too late,

To take another chance.

It's never too late,

To make your own stance.

It's never to late,

To do what you want to.

It's never too late,

But the choice is up to you.

Shay-Renee
©2008

"I Heard" by Shay-Renee

My Original Song Lyrics:

"I Heard"

Chorus:

I heard, I had an angel watching me

I heard, that with him, I'll be fine and free

I heard, that he will never leave my side

I heard, that in danger, he'll never hide

And so I heard, I had an angel watching me

I heard, that with him, I'll be fine and free

And so I heard, that he will never leave my side

I heard, that in danger, he'll never hide

Verse 1:

I heard, that when I'm all alone at night

He watches me and keeps me in his sight

Never away, or far apart

He's always with me in my loving heart

Never leaving me in danger or trouble

When I call him, he's there on the double

I'll think of him, as my very best friend

Because I know, he's with me until the very end

So,

Chorus:

I heard, I had an angel watching me

I heard, that with him, I'll be fine and free

I heard, that he will never leave my side

I heard, that in danger, he'll never hide

And so I heard, I had an angel watching me

I heard, that with him, I'll be fine and free

And so I heard, that he will never leave my side

I heard, that in danger, he'll never hide

Verse 2:

I heard, that my angel is the very best

Above all, he'll pass any and all your tests

Trusting him, is effortless to do

If my angel was yours, you would love him too

He's gifted, and has a lot of insight

Having him, as my angel is a real delight

My angel, is so sweet and nice

And for him, I'll pay any price

So,

Chorus:

I heard, I had an angel watching me

I heard, that with him, I'll be fine and free

I heard, that he will never leave my side

I heard, that in danger, he'll never hide

And so I heard, I had an angel watching me

I heard, that with him, I'll be fine and free

And so I heard, that he will never leave my side

I heard, that in danger, he'll never hide

Verse 3:

I heard, that he's my guide and he's my eyes

He's always there, to hear my cries

Never leaving me, if I'm in any pain

Stands by my side, even if I go insane

My angel, stays with me when I'm on the go

He helps me, whenever I'm feeling low

Chorus:

I heard, I had an angel watching me

I heard, that with him, I'll be fine and free

I heard, that he will never leave my side

I heard, that in danger, he'll never hide

And so I heard, I had an angel watching me

I heard, that with him, I'll be fine and free

And so I heard, that he will never leave my side

I heard, that in danger, he'll never hide

Vamp:

And so I heard, and so I heard, and so I heard...

Shay-Renee
©2007

"My Attitude" by Shay-Renee

My Original Song Lyrics:

"My Attitude"

Chorus:

My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!
My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!

Verse 1:

Some days I'm happy, some days I'm sad

If you don't like it, that's too damn bad!

My temper-tantrum, it's really sad

But when I'm happy, I'm fucking glad!

My temper, defines all of me

It makes the person, who you see

My attitude is one of a kind

There's nothing like it, it's hard to find!

My attitude is a part of me,

It's who I am, it's who I be!

Chorus:
My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!
My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!

My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!

Verse 2:

Just like everyone, I got an attitude

And there are times, when I seem so rude

You know what? I don't give a fuck!

That's what happens when you push your luck!

I know my temper gets really hot

But my attitude is what I got

I know I have to live with it

Don't come to me with any shit!

My attitude is oh, so me!

And that's the way I want to be!

Chorus:
My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!
My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!

Verse 3:

Yeah, at time I can be nice

Don't fuck with me, I break the dice!

I really don't care if you don't like me

With my attitude, I'm the baddest b*

This attitude, is worse than hell

I don't give a fuck, I need to yell!

Don't complain, don't make it worse

You really don't want to make me curse!

My attitude, has a mouth of it's own

The more pissed off, the worser the tone!

If your attitude makes you, you

Then say these words like I do!

Chorus:
My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!
My attitude makes me who I am!

If you don't like it, I don't give a damn!

Vamp:

My attitude makes me, me

And that's the way I want to be!

My attitude makes me, me

And that's they way that I should be!

Shay-Renee
©2007

"Last Thing He Said" by Shay-Renee

"Last Thing He Said"

"Yes," he said,

"I want to be dead."

And I asked, "Why?"

As I started to cry.

He said, "I need more."

Than the girl you adore?

He said, "There's a hole you can't fill."

I said, "If you let me try, I will."

He said, "There's no way that you can."

I said, "But I'll figure out a plan--

You just can't leave me now."

And he asked, "How?"

He said, "There's just no way--

I can't live another day."

My heart has died,

As I continually cried.

"Yes," he said,

"I want to be dead"

He went to bed...

With a bullet in his head.

Shay-Renee
©2007

Facts:

"Depression affects nearly 10 percent of Americans ages 18 and over in a given year, or more than 24 million people."

- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

"About 15 percent of the population will suffer from clinical depression at some time during their lifetime. Thirty percent of all clinically depressed patients attempt suicide; half of them ultimately die by suicide."

- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

"Write to the End" by Shay-Renee

"Write to the End"

"I hate you and goodbye"

Was what she wrote.

Right before she took her life...

And cut her throat.

Shay-Renee
©2007

Fact:

"Each year approximately one million people in the world die by suicide. This toll is higher than the total number of world deaths each year from war and homicide combined."

- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

"It Was Only Meth" by Shay-Renee

"It Was Only Meth"

I remember the day that he took Meth--

It was the day he took his final breath...

I just sat there and watched him die,

And all I could do was just sit there and cry.

He was an angel here on Earth--

I saw this when his mom gave birth.

Yeah, he went down a bad road--

But he was a prince and not a toad.

He wasn't addicted to the drug,

It just latched to him that night just like a bug...

He wasn't the one that was suppose to die--

This boy was just the sweetest guy!

Who knew that the first time that he took Meth,

Would be the day he took his final breath...

Shay-Renee

Fact:

"Men are nearly 4 times more likely to die by suicide than women."
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

"She Said... She's Dead" by Shay-Renee

"She Said... She's Dead"

As he up and went away,

She had one thought throughout the day:

She told him, "I love you," enough said.

Five minutes later, she was dead.

Shay-Renee
©2007

Fact:

"Women attempt suicide 3 times as often as men."

- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

"My Life to End" by Shay-Renee

"My Life to End"

The day I put my life to an end--

It was easy to do, I won't pretend.

It was a day when I felt low--

And I had to do what I needed to do.

I took my life at about seven,

Because I wanted to go to heaven.

Who knew that it was a sin?

That I shot myself just to get in...

I wanted to die and I'm not going to lie.

I did it because I knew I wouldn't cry.

I had to put my life to an end--

It wasn't the easiest funeral to attend...

Shay-Renee

Facts:

"Every 13.7 minutes someone in the United States dies by suicide.
Nearly 1,000,000 people make a suicide attempt every year."

- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

"Firearms are used in more suicides than homicides. Firearms account for 50 percent of all suicides."

- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

"A Poem For You" by Shay-Renee

"A Poem For You"

A poem for you

Because I love you.

A poem for you

Because I place no one above you.

A poem for you

Because I'll surely miss you.

A poem for you

Because of everything you do.

A tear for you

Because I'll cry for you.

A knife for you

Because I'll die for you.

A poem for you

Because it's what I do.

A poem for you

Because there's no one else but you

A poem for you,

Because my love for you is never through!

Dedicated to all of the Broken Butterflies! :)

Saturday

A Quote For Inspiration: Fortune Cookie

A Quote For Inspiration:

"She who has hope, has everything."

— Fortune Cookie

A Quote For Inspiration: Marilyn Monroe

A Quote For Inspiration:

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

A Quote For Inspiration: Fat Albert

A Quote For Inspiration:

"You can't let fear keep you from caring about someone, because, caring about someone... is wonderful! A person you think about, and they think about you, and you both know you're thinking of each other... , and it's just fantastic to know that there is somebody out there in the world thinking about you."
— Fat Albert

"Pushing Away Love" by Shay-Renee

"Pushing Away Love"

She's so nice,

She's so sweet,

Surely an angel

That can't be beat.

She's perfect

For heaven's sake!

But stupidly she thought love

Would be a piece of cake.

Never again,

Will love come near by--

She pushes it away,

So she'll never cry.

"Get Away!"

She yells pushing back.

"I'll tie you up!

I'll tie you up in this sack!"

"Shoot love!

Let me be!

And get the fuck

Away from me!"

Love can never

Come her way,

Because she pushes

Love away.

Shay-Renee

A Quote For Inspiration: Harvey MacKay

A Quote For Inspiration:

“Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you
right. Forget about those who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.”
― Harvey MacKay

"My Letter to Life" by Shay-Renee

"My Letter to Life"

Dear Life,

My feelings of you change often so,

One minute I'm holding onto you and the other I'm letting you go.

Every so often it's you that I regret,

When I'm fearful of my feet getting too wet.

At times you make me feel bad or good,

Or maybe it's me who has you misunderstood?

Could it be me that has changed?

Because every so often, you be acting so strange.

You confuse me -

So effortlessly.

One minute you love me, one minute you hate me.

Or is it cause I mistake thee?

Could you please just let me know,

Whether or not you love me so?

Love,

Shay-Renee

"Forgotten" by Shay-Renee

"Forgotten"

Small as I am,

Yet I've done so much.

And yet I'm still forgotten

By those that I've touched.

Small as I am,

And yes, I'm really small.

Sometimes I wonder,

If I'll be remembered at all...

Then I look at the paper,

I look through every spot an'

I see that my name is missing,

It seems that I was forgotten...

My Own Personal Quote:

"No one should EVER feel small, weak, or like nothing because everyone is made to be big, strong, and to be EVERYTHING and more."
- Shay-Renee

More Ways to Save a "Broken Butterfly" by Shay-Renee

More Ways to Save a "Broken Butterfly"

(When It's Your Friend)

When You're Worried About a Friend

Say You're Concerned

When you're alone tell her, "I'm worried because you seem disconnected. Please tell me what's going on." Knowing you care can convince her to open up.

Offer to Get Her Help

It's often tough for a suicidal person to take the first step to seeing a professional. Gathering the names of local psychologists gets the ball rolling.

Follow Up

Call her a day later to see how she is and if you can help. Should she brush you off, say "If anything happened to you, I'd be devastated." Hearing that may make all the difference.

Enter Emergency Mode

If she admits she wants to end it all or jokes that her life is worthless, call 911, take her to the emergency room, or contact her family.

More Ways to Save a "Broken Butterfly" by Shay-Renee

More Ways to Save a "Broken Butterfly"

(When It's You)

When It's You Who Feels Down

Don't Remain Isolated

Approach a trusted friend or family member, and tell him or her how you've been feeling. You may try to talk yourself out of interactions like these assuming that you're a burden to them or they don't care, but your thinking may be skewed right now.

Note How Long You've Been This Way

If you feel sad, empty, or hopeless and these emotions don't lift after 2 weeks, seek out a counselor. Also, steer clear of alcohol and drugs, they can darken your thoughts and make you feel more despondent.

Make The Call That Could Save Your Life

Should you feel any impulse to harm yourself, call 911 and let the operator know you need help, head to the ER, or dial the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255).

How to Spot Out and Save a "Broken Butterfly" by Shay-Renee

How to Spot Out and Save a "Broken Butterfly"

Signs of suffering: (Red flags may be surprisingly subtle)

A friend may be contemplating killing herself, but the warning signs aren't as easy to spot as you might think. These more quiet indications may be cries for help.

She thinks she's a burden

If she constantly talks about how others would be better off without her, it's a possible sign she's looking for a way to end their (and her) suffering.

She's boozing a lot

A sudden increase in the use of alcohol or drugs can be an attempt to dull the pain inside.

She's withdrawn

If a formerly social person is sleeping a lot and isolating herself, these signs of depression can also indicate a deeper desire to "disappear".

If you or someone you know exhibits any of these signs,

call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

"Life is a Roller Coaster" by Shay-Renee

"Life is a Roller Coaster"

Life is a Roller Coaster,

It goes up and down.
Life is a Roller Coaster,
It will quickly change a smile to a frown.
Life is a Roller Coaster,
It can bring unexpected change.
Life is a Roller Coaster,
It can scare you going out of range.
Life is a Roller Coaster,
Turn after turn.
Life is a Roller Coaster,
You live and you learn.

Shay-Renee
© 2012

Meaning of "Broken Butterfly" by Shay-Renee

What Does "Broken Butterfly" Mean?

"Broken Butterfly" means "Broken Beauty" and "Broken Freedom".

Why?

Butterflies are considered "beautiful" and that's where the word "beauty" comes from.

Butterflies have the ability to fly wherever they want to, which is where the word "freedom" comes from.

Therefore, a "broken butterfly" is someone who feels like they are neither beautiful or free.

A broken butterfly is someone who's endured much adversity in their life.

They may feel "wingless" or trapped, stuck, and even hopeless in their situation.

During this adversity, they may have lost their sense of freedom, purpose, and who they are.

This blog was created to help them find their "wings" again, and to show them that they are not alone.

Most of the stuff in this blog will be original content written by me. Some of the content will be happy and some of it will be sad but it's only to show that I was a "broken butterfly" as well.

So, here's a blog from one recovering "broken butterfly" to another. Hope you enjoy it!

"Broken Butterfly" by Shay-Renee